Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Why go to Ghana?

I think everyone is interested in the intentions of someone they are helping with prayer, money, time or supplies so that is the first thing I want to do... share my intentions.

A couple of months ago I started praying fervently for God to ignite a passion in me. I was so... soul sad. I don't know how else to explain it. I had hurt my knee and felt pretty depressed and upset about it. I felt like there was no part of me that wasn't somehow attached to my kids or husband. And I just felt like the world was bigger than what I was experiencing. There was more that I could do to make an impact on the world. More that I felt God wanted me to do. So I prayed and prayed for God to give me an idea of what my passion is. I had long known I had a passion for children. I had a passion for abused and abandoned children. I had a passion for ending human rights violations. I had LONG known that. But what I didn't know was how I was being called to use those passions. So over years of just doing my thing with my family I started to feel lost. Like a big part of the me that I liked was buried. The passionate, motivated parts. The flame of those passions had definitely started to burn dimly. The things that make me unique were being buried by family and responsibilities. And I didn't want to feel like I was just floating through life any longer. I wanted to look back when my kids were grown and see that I made an impact on more than just my immediate family. And I definitely wanted to be an example to my children of a woman who loves God first and loves others passionately. And I prayed. "God, what is it that I need to be doing right now? What is it that is waiting for me to be absolutely passionate about? I need to see it and experience it." And for a while the still small voice seemed even quieter than normal.

Until... I saw JD's post about going to Kete-Krachi. When I read it, I immediately knew that this was what God wanted me to be passionate about. These children were who I needed to see and experience and write about. The demons from my past and my background with children... they had all prepared me for what was being revealed to me. I am not sure how else to explain it really. I often struggle with knowing what exactly God wants us to be doing. But I felt SO drawn to it. But I of course hesitated and thought of the 900 ways I would be forced out of this opportunity. So I asked my husband about it a couple days after I read the entry JD posted and he said... I could go. What? Wait a minute, he was supposed to be difficult to convince. Then I went to my counselor and asked her about it and she said... "I think its a great idea. It will be difficult on you in many ways but you should go". Huh? I thought for sure she would tell me I wasn't ready for it. She didn't, he didn't. I was going. And I have been running full speed with that passion ever since. The passion to love children and comfort them. The passion to free children from slavery. The passion to share Jesus with them so they can fully experience redemption.

So that in a nut shell is why I am going. God answered my prayer with Ghana. And I am going to follow that passion full speed and full heart.



JD said...

It's so amazing how God weaved everything together... our pasts, Crazy Love, blogging, even the way the post was worded, everything fell into place for His plan!!

I'm so eager to see what He will do through us, and how He will use us for these children.

Love the post!!

Anonymous said...

I am sooo excited for you finding your passion and using it in such a big way! I can't wait to see how your time of preparation goes.